How do you do it?

People ask me this all of the time. "How do you do it?" They are normally asking this because I work full time, am a graduate student, indie writer-publisher-promoter, I'm planning a wedding with my fiancée, have dogs, cats, birds, turtles, play video games, try to work out, try to keep the house clean, try hard to have an active social life, participate at my Church and maintain a fairly happy healthy life.

My answer is this, I just never stop trying. I don't give up if something slides by the cracks. I have a really supportive and equally busy fiancée and we try really hard to compensate where the other can't. We don't stress about the dishes not being done, (but we will complain about there being no clean forks).

I'm not up on media, I haven't seen the Avengers, I don't get the weekly comics (I wait for the trades and read them on downtime at work), and I normally get to watch a TV show maybe two-three weeks after it aired, or maybe I watch an entire season during my breaks from school (which are few and far between) on my DVR, DVD or Netflix streaming. I read textbooks, and all sorts of fun books randomly and rarely complete one before starting another. I write novels in my head and try to take notes via phone memo, journal or the iPhone’s notepad.

I was a drug addict for 3.75 years, I've been clean for almost seven years. I suffered from depression for almost twenty years, but I've been mindful and self-caring for 5 years. I found ways to counteract my maladaptive behaviors with healthy behaviors. I was an MMORPG/GUILD Leader for almost eight years, and I gave up the guild realizing I was living in a video game, instead of living my own life.

So I guess I've just HAD my lazy years, and there was a time in my life where I wasn't sure whether I'd have a normal life, so when I found a way to achieve my dreams I decided I'd had enough time to squander my life and it was time to start living it: MY LIFE.

So I TRY really hard not to sweat the small shit. I get to what I can, when I can. When I start to notice my warning signs I use my fucking safety plan. When shit is getting overwhelming I make an appointment to see my therapist. When the dishes and laundry need to be done, instead of bitching about it, I do what I can in the miniscule amount of time I have and I'm happy with the results, instead of feeling like a failure.

For school, I get the syllabus and I plan out the entire quarter, when to read, when to watch, when to work on papers. I give myself time to write each paper three-four times, so that come turn in time I don't feel overwhelmed. When I read I highlight all the bold/italicized print and I read the intro and the conclusion, so when it's time for tests I either make flashcards, or if it's open book my brain has mapped the book so I know where to go to find the information.

I force myself to sleep 7 hours a night, if that means I come home and go straight to sleep and don't get any entertainment time, that's what I do. I listen to music on my car ride to work, or podcasts, or YouTube episodes that feature Felicia Day because SHE ALWAYS makes me laugh. I don't complain because I don't get to sit on my ass and play Diablo 3 for 8 hours, I play for 40 minutes when I can, and then I fit in entertainment where there is space in my life. There isn't a lot of room for spontaneity, but I accept that and know that I've finally claimed my life, my space, my time.

This is my life. It's overscheduled, and I miss out on some things, but because I'm mindful, when I get the chance I truly appreciate the moments I DO HAVE. Sometimes just talking to a good friend in the parking lot of her job and getting two hugs is better than spending an entire day doing bull shit. Sometimes going to a ball game because it's your buddy's birthday, catching up on the ride there and seeing an epic homerun right before you leave early to get to work on time, is better than being at a game the entire time and not truly being present.

So yea, I decided to live my life and to not accept "Well I guess this is it, and I'm miserable." I'm the master of MY destiny. It wasn't easy to get here, but it's easy to deal with, and I'm happy. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days (see my solution above). If you really want something, it's worth the hard work to get there.

Reviews for Qualia, from readers!

This is a pretty good book for a first time author! It moves very quickly and its full of adventure. Sort of a matrix meets vampire diaries meets hunger games all rolled into one. Good character development. I am looking forward to what he writes next!!! It was entertaining and the fact that the story was based in the bay area made it all the more familiar. Keep up the good work. - Sharon S.

I don't know what I was expecting from this book, but it was so much more than I could ever anticipate! As someone who doesn't normally read sci-fi books, I was caught off guard by how quickly I became engrossed in the novel. The plot twists, romance, battles, and character studies kept me glued to the book. I can't wait for the second book to be published! I also can't wait to see this story on the big screen! It reads like a movie. Fantastic novel by an up-and-coming author! - T. Perez

I must say that these sort of sci-fi fantasy novels are not usually up my alley, but this is a fabulous read! As the review above me stated it is a mix of a few things into one and creatively so.

There is attention to detail, so much so you get a wonderful, clear picture. The story is fun, full of adventure, character development, and of course a bit of love. It truly puts an interesting twist on one of the most anticipated days of the year and I cannot wait to read the second one :) - Tess


Thank you so much for the kind words and reviews. I have received so much love and support and encouragement from the people that have taken the time to get sucked into The Calling series. You've really inspired me, and I promise that The Seer is being worked out as I type, work and study through this wonderful year of the Dragon 2012, and as soon as it is AS GOOD or better than Qualia it'll be available =).

Cranial Explosion!~

Where to even begin? ...
Well I started a new job on the 22nd. I'm now a Crisis Line Specialist, I work for an amazing Crisis Center in ye olde East Bay California, and despite the occasional delusional and or suicide call I actually feel less stressed than I did working for my last employer where without the looming bankruptcy should have been a really chill job.
It was an excruciating decision to leave Windrush. I was appreciated at the school for my ability to communicate, for my ethics, for my dedication, and I could take my pups to work with me and they in turn were appreciated for their thirst for adventure and never ending reserves of love.
I left my best friend, my Aunt, new friends and a lot of little persons that I truly miss every single day. I have a lot of feelings about what is continuing to go on at the school, about what happened to the school, and perhaps someday I'll write a blog post about the entire experience, but it just would be kindling on a vast bonfire, so I will just say I left and I'm better off, but I do feel sad that I had to.
Ze new job is great. I'm gaining the experience I need for my career and for graduate school (of which I'm in the 2nd quarter). The people I work for and with are amazing and loving and have been kind enough to take me under their proverbial wings and show me the ropes, fine tuning the abilities I've acquired over the last 18 months of volunteering four hours a week on the lines.
I get to help a colleague as she works to develop a grant prescribed crisis chat line, and every week I become more intimately involved in the process. I've never developed or helped develop a program before, it is really quite exciting!
I really like my professors this quarter in grad school. Social Policy is like an orgasm for my brain, it involves social welfare, history and politics, which I mean is the shizzle I geek out on. I don't like all the reading and the incredibly short amount of time I have to prepare for presentations, but honestly I've kinda come to realize that the world operates on short term deadlines, so why should graduate studies be any different?
I'm working hard at keeping connected to my small kinship of friends, and being fairly successful.
The wedding plans are coming along well.
I've sold 14 copies of my book across various media and I still have some advertising ideas up my sleave. I wish I had more time to write, but at least this lack of "time" allows for slow percolating of my sequel.
In my miniscule free time I have been enjoying a lot of pleasureable reading, and hanging out with my fiancee, and my Boston buddies playing Star Wars the Old Republic.
Overall life is good, which doesn't mean it isn't at times stressful.
So that's the weekly dose of my life. Who are you that read? Drop a comment, let's converse.

Star Wars the Old Republic-SWTOR-Best Co-Op Game Ever!

So if someone asked me right now what the best Co-Op game that I ever played was my response immediately would be, Star Wars the Old Republic. *insert record scratch here* "Wait, what isn't that an MMO?" So let me start again. Star Wars the Old Republic (SWTOR) is the new MMO on the block. An MMORPG is a Massi...whatever it's an online game where hundred...thousands or maybe even millions of people play in a universe not soooo unlike our own (remember in the 80s that scare about virtual reality? it's totally here and has been for a long time, it's video games and MMOs are the top tier of that experience, if done right.)

My Sith Warrior

MMOers run around in armor, or robes and wield swords or magic or now "The Force". SWTOR is the new MMO in a long chain of MMOs. My experience in Video Games began when I was a tiny child with the ATARI and I've fairly stayed with the latest and greatest technology since then. In 2002 my then girlfriend and I picked up Everquest and spent the next couple of years until World of Warcraft arrived in the lands of Norrath killing snakes that kicked and dealing with 8 year olds that stole their brothers accounts and trained us with Orcs. World of Warcraft dropped and we were lucky enough to land into friends and family beta due to our connections in the gaming world (her brother in law). We then played Humans fighting Orcs or Orcs fighting Humans and then when Blood Elves dropped we basically just played them because they are so hawt and hilarious until Blizzard decided to destroy Azeroth in Cataclysm (what is with MMOs wanting to destroy themselves? ie-EQ2).

 Flashpoint

So why is SWTOR the best Co-Op game of all time? A large contigency of gamers play with their siblings, partners and or children. These days that means handing the controller back and forth, being stuck in PVP land or having to play on two different consoles across really crappy internet. Great games come out, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Skyrim, with epic open world feel like MMOs, but there are absolutely no multi player aspects and honestly having two Shepards running around would be weird anyway, there's only one hero here!

Our naughty Jedis

So my now fiancee (yea same as the girlfriend from way back) and I really love to play games together. It's basically what we do to spend time together. We enjoy the feel of MMOs, but we just don't have the time for the daily progression something like World of Warcraft requires to stay current. We don't mind playing Dragon Age for six months during our busy schedule, but we can't play that together. Handing the controller back and forth for Dead Space was awesome, and necessary that game is intense, but it just isn't the same as sharing the world together as equal heroes and kicking ass!

In SWTOR we can do just that. We login, group up, we can say whatever the hell we want in the cut scenes and the game randoms which answer will be there for us to see across the screen. Her character talks and my character seems to be checking out her ass, which is very true to real life, doesn't mean I'm not listening! We group up in what they call a flashpoint, which is basically a group instance where we all get to control the speech. Hilarity ensues when one person wants a badguy to die and the other three roll a speech answer that allows him or her to live. Don't worry flashpoints can be redone once a day if you want to see different scenarios play out.

We finally get to Co-Op through a dynamic world that recognizes us as equal heroes. And those thousands of other players are periphery, I barely know that other "heroes" are running around too, because the story instances are private and well I turn off general chat.

Our Jedi Light Side Crew

My Shepard voiced Trooper named Morrigen

So if you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/brother/sister/M.. ok you get the point the other gamer in your life that you like to play games with want a new game to play that feels like it could very well be the next big MMO for the casual RPG enthusiast, then pick up SWTOR and start playing.

 There are a million other reasons to play, I mean lightsabers, hello?!